雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全笑破你的肚子短的
一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。更多英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生笑話(huà)網(wǎng)。
The doctor lives downstairs醫(yī)生住在樓下
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫(yī)生”她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。“我想讓你坦率地說(shuō)我到底得了什么病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會(huì)改變。第三，我是一位畫(huà)家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”
它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的`美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō)：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的。”
He is really somebody他真是一個(gè)大人物
My uncle has 1000 men under him.
He is really somebody. What does he do?
A maintenance man in a cemetery.
我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。
他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?
墓地守墓人。
Lose One Pound減掉一磅
I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."
Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"
我稱(chēng)贊我的一個(gè)同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住夸耀說(shuō)我17歲時(shí)，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說(shuō)：“這對(duì)我這樣年齡的男子來(lái)說(shuō)，是不錯(cuò)的。”
一個(gè)女子聽(tīng)到了這些話(huà)，她說(shuō)道：“你是說(shuō)你花了這么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才減了1磅?”
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